Imagine studying for the most important exam of your life. Studying and worrying and preparing and overthinking in every possible way for months on end.
You’ve checked all the boxes. Crossed everything off the list. You’re as ready as you can be. But what if you had no idea when the actual test would take place?
It could be today. Tomorrow. Next week? It could be while you’re busy during the day — or while you’re sound asleep at night.
For two people who love scheduling, efficiency, and a well-made plan as much as your mom and dad do, waiting for your surprise arrival is as nerve-racking as watching your mother play Black Jack that one time in Vegas. (More about that when you’re older.)
Your “due date” is today. October 26, 2017. (Although it really doesn’t mean all that much.) Consider it a date written in pencil, not pen. One doctor told us they should give out “sell by dates” instead of due dates. It’s just not an exact science. You could stay in there for another week. Maybe two. We just don’t know.
If we continue to let things happen naturally and, God willing, let you decide to come screaming into this crazy world on your own, mom and I will have to be OK giving up a lot of control. Neither of us is good at that. (Sorry in advance.)
After spending two summers with us in Cincinnati, your Uncle Noah knows all too well about our tendency to over manage things. (Note: Commiserate with him at later date.)
Listen. We get it. Your entrance is one thing we cannot direct. But, true to character, we’re trying our best to manage it nonetheless. Our hospital bags are packed. The car seat in installed. Your nursery has every finishing touch including clean clothes in the drawers.
Your mom reminds me every morning to keep my phone near me at all times. Her “out-of-office” email message at work has been pre-written, ready to be activated, for days. And she’s cleared so many meetings off her calendar this week in anticipation of your arrival that she met me yesterday for a leisurely lunch.
Let’s call it baby steps.
But be proud. You’re not even here yet and you’re already teaching us stuff. Lesson One: Letting Go. It’s sure to be a long, intensive, nonstop course.
We promise to be good students. You can bet we’ll put in the work. Take lots of notes and make lots of plans. We’ll learn from our mistakes. Try our best to pass all the tests. Show up. And stick to it.
Consider it under control.
Just remember, when you grade us, we’re a work in progress — and probably freaking out that we didn’t properly label the study guide.
Your Willing Student